If you have ever had to ask for advice so that your first date is successful, you should know how important that first meeting with the person you like is, because the result of that will tell us about the connection that both people have, also think about whether or not you want to continue having future appointments and know if a possible relationship is given way.
Some of the doubts that are generated before a first date are usually: how to dress, what to say or do, what topics to talk about and which others to avoid; not knowing if the other person is going to like us or if they will get on our nerves, if there will be mutual chemistry or not, if we will like the first impression of the other, among other things that surely vary depending on the perception of each person.
There is no perfect formula, infallible trick or ritual that certifies the success of that first date, because not everyone has the same tastes and much less wants to meet the same physical and/or personality pattern in each of the possible meetings.
What is certain is that you can look for some advice and/or tips to choose, for example, a pleasant topic of conversation, find a place, among other tips that are also good, so that the first date turns out to be fun and with the opportunity to say yes to a second.
Before attending a first date, you should know that it is not an exam that you have to arrive at with all the questions and advice memorized, since the meeting will become very forced and the most important thing at that moment is that the conversation flows. Don't try to control the situation and have fun.
Also keep in mind that, even if you really like the person you are going to meet, it is not always possible to meet the expectations of the other, so trying to be or say things contrary to what represents us, will only generate a false image and future misunderstandings.
9 tips for a first date
We share some basic tips without gender roles that you can take into account for a first date. Some of these tips were shared in an article published by the Science for people portal and were supported and proven by science
Choosing the right place for a first date is not very difficult when you take into account your own tastes and those of the other person. In case you want to surprise your date, try to think about one of these features for the place; dish, music or atmosphere that they might like. If the place will be chosen together, try to find the midpoint between the tastes of each person and you will be able to achieve a harmonious date.
What to wear? It is normal that for the first date with who you like, you want to use something that dazzles the other person; and it is not bad to show interest about the tastes of each other, as long as it does not affect your own comfort or go against your personal tastes.
For a first date, and taking into account the place you are going, wear clothes that are comfortable and represent you. It is good to impress, but do not try to appear by sacrificing your ideals.
Knowing what to talk about on the first date, or if you will have an active conversation is a subject that can generate uncertainty, especially for those people who think too much or when there is a great interest in impressing the other.
To solve this, some psychologists have discovered the keys to conversations on a date, and others, such as Dan MacAdam, professor of psychology at Northwestern University and who studied what it takes to get to know a person, created a list of guaranteed questions that can help you understand people on a deeper level.
Two of that list of questions are:
- What would a perfect day be like for you?
- What is your most precious memory?
It is important to take a look at the way you communicate both verbally and physically; Often the way we move and our facial expressions say more than any words.
This is not always within our control and we have to act naturally, but try to adjust the negative expressions that we usually have on a daily basis, such as crossing our arms or lying down when the other person is speaking, because you do not want they to think that is boring you.
It is a conversation of two:
One of the fundamental pillars to maintain a conversation is listening and respecting the other's word, and although sometimes we get nervous and want to tell everything about our lives so that no detail is missed, we must leave space to listen to the other's words. tastes, stories and interests of the other person.
Not talking about your ex:
Talking about your exes could make our date uncomfortable and make them think you didn't get over that stage of life. If there is any space in the conversation where you can tell an anecdote about your ex-partner, let it be naturally, without creating comparisons or staying on the same topic for a long time.
Don't look for a perfect match:
It is satisfying to find that we have things in common with the person we like, but it is important to keep in mind that on a first date you cannot look for perfect compatibility. Although we can get an idea about the personality of the other on the first date, it is impossible to know all the details in depth in a single day.
If it is definitely not what you expected because there is zero compatibility, you will understand that it is normal that sometimes you cannot establish an unbreakable chemistry in each meeting you have.
Be natural and speak truthfully:
First dates are the perfect time to clarify what we want, seek or expect from the other person. Speaking honestly and naturally will put the other person in a comfortable and relaxed environment where they feel like they can also speak honestly.
Learn from past experiences:
Looking back on your previous dates can help you improve your own behaviors that were perhaps a bit demotivating on a past date. This will give you the power to create new and better experiences and not make the same mistakes.
Review these tips when you feel it is necessary, but remember that the most important thing on a first date is that your essence comes out. If your date ends and you don't want to give yourself the opportunity of a second one with the same person, you will continue to learn from the positive and negative experiences that result from each meeting.